candy flip (candyflip) wrote,
candy flip

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stream of consciousness

all i do is analyze- so many thoughts bounce around on the inside of my brain, screaming-
i feel like i feel too much, a lot of the time. my emotions make everything so fucking difficult. i have always believed that love and pain are one- they balance out equally. the degree that you love someone, is the same degree of pain they can cause you. i wrote a poem the other night, so i guess i will share it:

i put it all away
in a box
under my grandpa's bed
beside the fact
that i never was good enough
just on top of
the stack of shit
my mother left me...
and it stayed there
for awhile
before it started seeping
through the cracks
i made sure i had covered up.

so i built a wall,
stood behind it
and laughed.
nothing has ever broken through
these layers
of cement, brick, and metal.

then came the screams-
for days
upon days,
so i cried LOUDER!
no one would hear them.
and one day they went away...
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