candy flip (candyflip) wrote,
candy flip
candyflip

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someday you will ache like i ache...

i tried to feel
the lightening in your kiss-
but all i felt was empty.
i wanted for a moment
to be swept away
from the ecstacy and pain
embedded
in the center of my being-
so maybe i could understand...
if only i felt anything at all
in the lips,
in the arms of another-
then it would be easy to understand
why my love held someone else
last night...

and the blackness creeps back in,
it always does.
it is as much a part of me
as the heart that pushes life
thru my veins.

passing thru like smoke, this day
like liquid, like light
from a star whose lustre
burned out long ago-
a time traveler leaving
only an illusion of what once was
slipping in
then out again
of this distraction-
hovering
above it
until i am able to seperate
completely-
from myself
within myself
beside myself
once again.

this cycle
of seasons only bleeds,
this day
together
into a melancholy
mesh

i knew the pain
would gut me like a fisherman's knife...
i chose to feel it anyway.
for that day
holds a love deep enough
to swallow
the pain of this day.
as the emptiness settles into my core,
deep within the pit of my stomach
i taste
the iminent reality
yet again...
in truth
it was only a matter of time...

how silly to think i was in control
of this love-
not prepared for falling
23 stories
to the death of me.
the illusion of flying
betrayed all the truths
i tried to hide from
in that day.

so i wait for the next
day in her arms-
i will feel her
as every day
i feel her despite the pain-
and this day will pass
into another
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